There's a giant tit on the loose!!

...And that tit is ME. Oh my god. Awkward story. This weekend we have a visitor, a friend of X's. Not just a friend, but the friend who was possibly going to room with them when I left. Only now... not leaving. I had known that she was going to come up for a weekend, but had no clue that it was *this* weekend until about 2 AM Saturday morning. My first thought was: I should have just gone to DC with Lily and called out Sunday, fuck the consequences. My second thought was: This. Is. Going. To. Be. SO. Awkward. Because let's face it, kids- I'm the asshole who has decided at the last minute that I'm not leaving and the reason that she has to schlep around the city looking at places today.

Saturday afternoon. I had been out of my room a couple of times- shower, chocolate milk, snacks... but not seen X or J at all. I was watching movies from my new Woody Allen box set(s) all day, so my door had been closed, my noisy fan on high. I'm watching Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But Were Afraid to Ask and was at the penultimate scene where Woody is at the mad scientist's castle & there's a giant breast attacking him. A knock at the door & it's X. He looks at the tv set quizzically and I shout a line from the movie: "There's a giant tit on the loose!!" X freezes and then says, "...we have company."

I am mortified.
Because now I'm not just the asshole who stayed, but I'm also the guy who shouts out "There's a giant tit on the loose!"

TIT.

I spend the rest of the day in my room, door closed, cursing Woody Allen even as I applaud his genius.

title quote: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex *But were afraid to ask
music du jour: tbd
dvd player: Interiors
bookbag: My Life So Far by Jane Fonda
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17