there must be some other door that they are saving behind which my happiness lies

An interesting week. For the last month or so, I've been arguing with the voice in my head that says "I'm not ready to leave..." Then last week I said out loud, probably two or three times, "I don't want to go yet!" So there's some big contemplating going on, about possibly staying in NYC until November rather than leaving in July. It's sorta short notice, being only a month away from when I was originally planning on leaving. I've talked to my family & my roommates and will talk to my boss this week to see if I can defer my transfer till then. Which will probably not be a problem, because he seemed sad to see me go. I just feel like something here is unfinished, like this experience needs to last a little longer. Missing my family still hurts- and thinking about not seeing them for another 5 months hits me every time. I can't put my finger on what it is exactly that's telling me to stick it out. Is it because Miami in summer is hell on earth & I'd rather wait for it to cool down? Is it because I'd like to see a little bit of Autumn in New York again before I leave? Is it because Julianne Moore will be doing a show here in October? Matty will be here for one day in September? Or will it actually be detrimental to stay, because it will make it even harder to leave the flat, X+J, Lily, Norana, Gilliane, working at a place I like, with people who seem to like me (mostly)? Another benefit of staying till then is that my vacation hours are refreshed in October. Which means I would have one week before then to take off and spend however I please- and then a lot more time to deal with the move home, some time to spend with my family once I get there rather than jumping right back into work. If we planned it right, we could even have time to go up to my Granny's for her birthday on November 13th. I think it may be a good plan.

In other news, I watched more movies with X last night- Joyride, which I had seen & loved before. I always think of Matty's line about "two scoops of vanilla ice cream" when Paul Walker & Steve Zahn are walking into the diner naked. We also watched Oldboy, which has been at the house since Christmas, I think. It was pretty cool. Some shocking images, and hard to follow until things click- and then you realize that you've just seen a Greek Tragedy done up Korean style. I can't deal with the octopus thing, though. I did find the giant ant amusing, but X was freaked out. Oh, you kids and your fear of giant ants.

I kinda want to skip work on Tuesday. I'm apparently superstitious because the whole 6.06.06 thing? Kinda freaking me out. I feel like I'd rather be in Brooklyn for the Apocalypse than in Manhattan, where the sinner to saint ratio is probably higher. But what excuse would I give? Fear of God's wrath?

-rick
title quote: 'til tuesday, "believed you were lucky" from EVERYTHING'S DIFFERENT NOW
music du jour: Holly Palmer. In my head. On my ipod. Everywhere.
dvd player: Tales From Avonlea: Season One
bookbag: Jonathan Burnham Schwartz: Claire Marvel
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-16