if i choose now/i'll lose out/one of you has to fall/but i need you/and you...

grr. and argh. i've spent the last 24 hours or so feeling sort of upset and conflicted about going back to Florida. It's so hard being away from my family and it's been the source of a lot of depression... but then thinking about returning to a city i don't like, leaving a job that i enjoy to go back to the place i couldn't stand and abandoning all my friends makes me feel just as bad. i feel like there's no way i can win. i'm stuck in a catch 22 and it sucks. i need a hug, dammit.

and it doesn't help that there's this documentary on about 12 year olds and the popular kids are talking shit about the outsiders- who are already much cooler than they are. it's not cool that the interviewer is creating friction between two of the girls, either. and the narration is awful. i need to turn this off. can't. stop. looking!! "if you don't dress right, then you don't fit in. if you don't fit in, then you can't get popular."

title quote: Joan Armatrading, "The Weakness in Me"
feeling guilty/worried/waking from tormented sleep/this old love has me bound/but the new love cuts deep
if i choose now/i'll lose out/one of you has to fall/but i need you/and you...