a better version of me

Sur la dernier page du chapitre

2006-10-07T16:41:00.000-04:00

been a warm winter & a cold spring/everywhere i've been's felt wrong to me

2006-09-28T12:44:00.000-04:00

You Should Be In the Indigo Girls

Your all about expressing yourself through music

Lyrics are your poetry - think Sylvia Plath meets guitar

What Girl Group Should You Be In?

you're the real thing.... even better than the real thing, child

2006-09-27T22:52:00.000-04:00

I promised pictures, didn't i?
Bono!

Edge!

U2!

6 degrees

2006-09-25T23:48:00.000-04:00

CELEBRITY SIGHTING: Jay Hernandez.

...making me one degree closer to Hope Davis. *nice*

U2 at the store tomorrow. INSANITY!

Psyched about seeing HARD CANDY tomorrow night... plus GILMORE GIRLS is back!!

Everyone MUST go to itunes and download the song "I'll be your everything" by Dobie featuring Holly Palmer. It's freaking awesome.

-rick
music du jour: Indigo Girls: DESPITE OUR DIFFERENCES
dvd player: THE OFFICE: SEASON TWO
bookbag: ONE HUNDRED YEARS OF SOLITUDE
celebrity sightings: 1
YTD Sightings-19.5

sometime today it will rain

2006-09-15T08:04:00.000-04:00

not much to report lately. work...
one big thing- a final NYC blowout before i head home. i got an amazing seat to see THE VERTICAL HOUR with my favorite actress, Julianne Moore!
so that's good.
pretty much just tired. feeling sick today, hence being up to post at 8:00 in the AM. i feel like fucking crap.... and i'm watching a blah tv thing with Jeremy Sisto- one of the Nightmares & Dreamscapes things. but at least it's got Sisto.

title quote: tanya donelly, "last rain"
music du jour: miles davis: cool & collected
dvd player: lost: season 2
bookbag: 100 Years of Solitude
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-18.5

a gingerbread man and a peanut got married. imagine the baby!

2006-08-24T00:56:00.000-04:00

Today was cool.

I did laundry (not cool)
Watched THE SIMPSONS on dvd (cool)
Got my VERONICA MARS sets in the mail (v. cool)
oh yeah... and then Lily & I went to REVENGE OF THE BOOKEATERS!
It's a benefit for the tutoring program 826NYC that author Dave Eggers is involved in. I love Dave Eggers. Not just because he is the hottest author ever, either. His books are fucking amazing- Both A HEARTBREAKING WORK OF STAGGERING GENIUS and the underrated YOU SHALL KNOW OUR VELOCITY!!! are incredible books. So Lily mentioned this to me a while back. Eggers, Sarah Vowell, John Stewart and Sufjan Stevens were involved. Little did we know, until tonight, that David Byrne of the Talking Heads would be performing as well. It was really cool, very entertaining. I dropped five (of Lily's) dollars into a bucket when Eggers came around collecting donations (I got a thanks. Others got hugs. *sigh*). Sufjan and his band were really great- he's kind of a mad genius. At least that's the vibe I get from him. Sarah Vowell was adorable. John Stewart was funny. DAVID BYRNE PLAYED!!!! I still can't believe it. He did two Heads songs. All in all, a good time.
Of course the other big thing I had planned pre-vacation was hanging with Norana & Jason tomorrow night. However, it seems that my dad is going to be getting here earlier than expected. And since Jason works the closing shift, we wouldn't even be able to start till around 11. We literally have been trying to get together since MAY with no luck but bad luck. Perhaps when I get back things will work out...

Finally, my take on World Music vs. New Age 'music' as discussed with Lily pre-show: I think they take different instruments & forms of world music, suck all the vibrancy and life out of them, and call it New Age.

title quote: Alex.
music du jour: Ani DiFranco- Sufjan Stevens- David Byrne
dvd player: THE SIMPSONS: SEASON 8
bookbag: OUT (oh shit... that's actually in LILY'S bookbag! FUCK!!)

i just wanna put down all the pressures and feel how i really feel

2006-08-23T11:45:00.000-04:00

not much going on lately.
work=customers are stupid assholes.
life= same old blah vs. blah shit. leaning towards NY for the most part at this point. although over the last 24 hours been feeling like home is right. you know, someone actually wrote the words "flip a damn coin already" to me, can you fucking believe that?

the news is that i'm on vacation! and i'm going to road trip through new england with my dad, who i haven't seen in a year. i'm looking forward to seeing some mountains, i tell ya. he ought to be getting here sometime late tomorrow night. at least i hope it's late tomorrow night, as we're having norana & jason over...

erm. that's it.

-rick
really ought to be doing laundry.

title quote: Ani DiFranco, "Half-Assed" from REPRIEVE
music du jour: Ani DiFranco/REPRIEVE
dvd player: KICKING AND SCREAMING (That would be the 1995 Noah Baumbach film, not the Will Ferrell soccer opus)
bookbag: OUT by Natsuo Kirino
celebrity sightings: 0 {well, there was that model from Project Runway, but I don't think I'm going to count her.}
YTD Sightings-17.5 {okay, maybe I'll count her a little.}

This isn't good cop/bad cop. This is fag & New Yorker.

2006-08-19T02:18:00.000-04:00

...or "Don't Quit Your Gay Job"

watched two movies tonight. PRIME. Eh. I liked the lead guy, felt Uma Thurman was miscast a bit- they had no chemistry whatsoever. Loved Meryl Streep. I really wanted to like this movie and totally expected to, as I loved Ben Younger's other film, BOILER ROOM. However, I didn't like it. Disappointing.

felt much better when, even though I wasn't really in the mood for it, we watched KISS KISS, BANG BANG. Fucking LOVED that movie. It's entertaining, witty, a mystery you wanna solve- just really great entertainment. AND, the writer/director is Shane Black, who wrote one of my favorite action films, THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT. (ok he also wrote some LETHAL WEAPON movies. whatever.) Plus, Val Kilmer of all people plays someone who is probably my favorite gay character in film since his co-star Robert Downey, jr. in HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS. for so long I have wanted to see a gay man who's a fucking bad-ass, smart aleck, take no shit character. Who says "fuck" as much as me. Gay Perry is definitely that. This is a movie I have to own on dvd at some point so that every time I want to kill myself over NOAH'S ARC or WILL & GRACE, I can watch something with a character who is actually really fucking cool. Netflix it NOW!!

-rick
title quote: KISS KISS, BANG BANG
music du jour: Ani DiFranco, REPRIEVE
dvd player: BRICK
bookbag: OUT by Natsuo Kirino
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

listen, this stands to reason; sure as the seasons, you know you & i can't be wrong; when you walk into the room, it's like a song...

2006-08-17T00:21:00.000-04:00

Body:
Step right up for the new issue of Pictures & Frames!!

Covered this month: Jay McInerny's book, THE GOOD LIFE; A trio of musicians, Sufjan Stevens, Johnny Cash & Matt Kearney; Plus, a plethora of new movies reviewed to make up for last month's lack of flicks: WORLD TRADE CENTER; LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE; LADY IN THE WATER; SUPERMAN RETURNS; SCOOP; CLERKS 2; The Bronx Tale on DVD and, back by popular demand, the Itinerant Saturday Night Brooklyn Gang take a deeper look than they'd like at Sharon Stone in BASIC INSTINCT 2.

All this plus new staff pics & bios, Canadian hottie Ryan Gosling in the movie of the month and a Spotlight column on filmmaker Ed Burns, is yours for the taking at: Pictures & Frames!

xxoo,
Rick
(who contributed the SCOOP review & will be quizzing randomly to ensure that you've read it)

title quote: Bic Runga, "Listen" from BIRDS
music du jour: *Songs I Know By Heart* mix: Bic Runga/Travis/Holly Palmer
dvd player: THE WEST WING: Season One
bookbag: HOUDINI!!! by Kenneth Silverman
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

counting on a miracle

2006-08-15T02:09:00.000-04:00

So today at work, Foxy Hillary asked me why I was single, when she totally wants to marry me. I was just like, "eh... i don't think i want anything at this point." which is somewhat true, considering that I don't know if I'll still be in this city come December. Later on I was thinking about it some more and realized: The fact is? I don't like most other gay men very much.

Incidentally, I'm so homophobic that I even hate myself.

I'm tired. And honestly, I didn't do much at work today... So my second realization was that this constant exhaustion is probably also due to stress. The Miami vs. NYC stress. Family vs. My Life. Because I think about it a lot. And honestly, unless I'm distracted with a movie or a book or my flatmates armed with Nerf guns, it's weighing on my mind. That includes being at work. When I'm busy with someone, or doing something that requires focus, I'm fine. But as soon as there's nothing going on or I'm doing something mindless, like scanning books, it's all I think about. It seems like I'd feel better once I came to a definitive decision, but it's just not forthcoming. I miss my family and I know they miss me. The thought of them feeling sad makes me depressed. But they are bound to Florida and it is not likely that this will ever change, that they will ever pick up and move closer to me. On the other hand, I have a life here. All of my friends from Miami are here now. I've made new friends here- honestly, I like people up here more. Back in Florida, there's really no potential for anything to happen for me. I will just go back to being the loser who depends on his parents for rides to work... Who does nothing, ever, and will probably end up never doing anything. But what it comes down to is that either choice I make, I have to give up something important.

oh right... you've read all this before.

it's like there's someone with a fever yelling at my pants!!

2006-08-14T01:09:00.000-04:00

I haven't blogged in a bit.
Last week, I wrote down our itinerary on a balloon.
WED: Little Miss Sunshine; Project Runway
THURS: Have no fun without me!
FRI: GLOOM with Jason & Norana; Tacos!
SAT: WEEDS; Korner Pizza; Haute Tension
SUN: HOLLY PALMER!!

WED: By the time Wednesday actually came around, we had already decided to maybe see MONSTER HOUSE instead of LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE as MH was playing at our favorite local theatre. However, I was really tired after work so we ended up not going to see anything. We did watch PROJECT RUNWAY, though. Why is Angela still on it?!?

THURS: I worked. I didn't make lunch as I planned on treating myself to dinner during my break. Of course... it rained. I ate garlic bagel chips in the break room. After work, went to the diner (where, as I was leaving, I realized two of the people I work with were sitting a couple of tables away from me. I wasn't very observant, as I was reading...) Turns out that if I had been able to go to the diner during my break, I would have run into X+J who had met there for dinner. They swore that they had no fun without me. Who knows if they're telling the truth.

FRIDAY: Norana cancelled GLOOM night. Which, btw- probably will never happen what with everyone's schedules & all. We are doomed! However, we still had tacos and got caught up on PSYCH. Then, Lily came home and we all watched the pilot for STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP- the forthcoming Aaron Sorkin show... it's freaking awesome. X+I watched the KIDNAPPED pilot (our station's in it! the Jeremy Sisto connections keep coming!!), which I didn't expect to like, but totally loved.

SATURDAY: Another weekend, another weekend we didn't see WEEDS. We did watch the second disc of the first season of VENTURE BROS. Which rocks. Then H. came over and we all had pizza. Then HIGH TENSION- okay if you don't want to know how it ends, skip to Sunday. Because here's what. I always sensed that HIGH TENSION would be similar to WOLF CREEK. Characters go somewhere. Characters are shockingly attacked by bad people. Bad people do really fucked up, torturous things to characters. Rick is uncomfortable and nauseous. There's nothing scary, it's just really gory. And... I was right. BUT it was kinda entertaining- until the twist ending. Here's the spoiler: The twist is that the French girl we see as the hero is actually the psycho killer. Yep. It ends like five hundred thousand other movies. The thing with those movies, however is that they tie it up sweetly and you think- "oh my god, I can't believe it was them all along!" ...or you've already guessed and can't wait for this trend to be over. HIGH TENSION does not fucking DO that. And that's why I really, really disliked it. Anyway, afterwards, everyone was going to watch EULOGY. Which I gave 30 minutes, because I love Zooey Deschanel & Famke Janssen. It was just really dull and unfunny, though, so I stopped watching & did the dishes instead.

SUNDAY: Went to see MONSTER HOUSE with X+J. Another good movie. I'm glad... this summer has been full of overlong, uninspired movies. This one was just the candy I wanted it to be. Then... HOLLY PALMER. She played Arlene's Grocery- J. went with me to see her tonight. I saw her in May & it was the best show I've seen all year. I'm a big fan of Holly's, and before that show I'd only gotten to see her once- in 1997. And at the time, I had no idea who she was. Suffice it to say, I was happy to get the chance to see her play again. She did a great set (favorite moment: "La vie en rose"- accapella) even though it seemed a bit short. Afterwards, J. & I hung out so that I could get a tee- Holly was really sweet & actually seemed to remember me from the last show, and said "you change your name a lot" on Myspace. I wished her luck on the rest of the tour (she's still touring with Gnarls Barkley- but there are some solo shows, too- check out her Myspace page from mine!) and left. Oh yeah, she suggested I go with a green tee & I'm glad I did. Tonight made me very happy.

On my own, I had planned to watch 5 dvds over the weekend. Since my birthday in December, there has been a stack of dvds next to my television. The stack kept growing and I never had the time to watch everything. On Friday, I was finally down to 5 movies. I had three days off.
I have watched two. (WUTHERING HEIGHTS and THE PRIZE WINNER OF DEFIANCE, OHIO) I don't know how much blame can go to pOKeCupid guy and AIM, but certainly some of it. I'm about to watch number 3, Wim Wenders' DON'T COME KNOCKING. Hopefully, at some point this week, I'll be able to watch the last two- V FOR VENDETTA and INSIDE MAN. I really would like to watch THE WEST WING from start to finish, and Lily has 'em on dvd... We'll see if it happens. Hmmph. Work. If anyone knows how I can get paid to sit in front of the air conditioner, drinking Kool Aid & watching dvds, please let me know. Thanks.

There should be a new issue of Pictures & Frames up soon- I will definitely post here & on Myspace to let everyone know.

-rick
title quote: VENTURE BROS. (can you say addicted?)
music du jour: Holly Palmer: SONGS FOR TUESDAY
dvd player: DON'T COME KNOCKING
bookbag: HOUDINI!!!
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17
Days till vacation: 10

All right, you little freshman bitches- AIR RAID!! ...That was PATHETIC!!

2006-08-09T01:16:00.000-04:00

Is anything better than Parker Posey tormenting freshmen in DAZED & CONFUSED? I think not...

Laundry Day Mix:
Cat Power: I Found a Reason
Jane Siberry: Love is Everything
Sarah Polley: Courage
The Beautiful South: I'll Sail This Ship Alone
Ben Lee: In My Life
Ben Taylor: Safe Enough to Wake Up
Bif Naked: Lucky
Björk: New World
Blur: Beetlebum (Moby's Mix)
Brandi Carlile: What Can I Say?
The Caesars: It's Not the Fall That Hurts
The Carpenters: Goodbye to Love
Cat Stevens: The Wind
Chantal Kreviazuk: What if It All Means Something
Chet Baker: My Funny Valentine
Chris Isaak: Wicked Game
Chris Whitley: Big Sky Country
Citizen Cope: Sideways
Claudine Longet: God Only Knows
Cranberries: Linger
Dandy Warhols: We Used to Be Friends
Death Cab for Cutie: Transatlanticism
Delfonics: Didn't I Blow Your Mind This Time
Devlins: The World Outside
Dixie Chicks: Not Ready to Make Nice
Duncan Sheik: Barely Breathing

I also realized that amazingly, I didn't have Edie Brickell & New Bohemian's SHOOTING RUBBERBANDS AT THE STARS album on my ipod, or anything from her solo disc, PICTURE PERFECT MORNING, so added them to the ipod and listened for a while. X gave me 3 different mixes he made with some really cool stuff on them, too.

Cooked for everyone, watched Veronica Mars *and* Life on Mars. AND Psych, with the hot guy with the nose (aka James Roday) and am currently enjoying a cold gingerale in my room while watching the Criterion Edition of DAZED & CONFUSED.

Oh, also finished reading V FOR VENDETTA. I still like the movie better, but it was pretty good. I usually enjoy the basic story behind Alan Moore's stuff (WATCHMEN; FROM HELL; V...) but have to force myself to get through the actual reading. I still like WATCHMEN best. Tomorrow I'll get back to the Houdini biography, after which I'm going to re-read Philip Pullman's HIS DARK MATERIALS trilogy. Oh... and I really wanna read Natsuo Kirino's novel OUT, but I've got that one at work for um... moments of peace. I still can't believe I managed to read so much Harry Potter at work. Lately it seems like I'm always... er, working.

-rick

Stranger Danger!!

2006-08-05T12:59:00.000-04:00

music du jour: I've had a Sinéad O'Connor song stuck in my head since I woke up
dvd player: THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW: SEASON FOUR
bookbag: HOUDINI!!! by Kenneth Silverman
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

but you must always know how long to stay, and when to go away...

2006-08-04T00:41:00.000-04:00

Jessica Simpson is covering a Patty Griffin song. "Let Him Fly" was previously covered by the Dixie Chicks on their "Fly" album, and it was good. Because... they're the Dixie Chicks. Jessica Simpson is not good. Jessica Simpson covering Patty Griffin is really, really not good.

:::try to think of it this way, rick... Jessica sells albums. millions. mysteriously. for each one sold, Patty gets royalties off of the song. then gets to continue making *her* music and bringing you joy:::

i still want to vomit everything i've ever eaten. this is so much worse than when she covered the Robbie Williams song, "Angels"

title quote: "Let Him Fly" by Patty Griffin from LIVING WITH GHOSTS
music du jour: I started the day with Sinéad O'Connor, then switched over to Björk for the rest.
dvd player: I'm on the last episode of CHARLIE'S ANGELS: SEASON THREE and tomorrow I think I may watch THE GODFATHER pts. I & II
bookbag: HOUDINI!!! by Kenneth Silverman.
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

what if it's all dust? that's it, just star stuff- and the light that i see burned away long before me...

2006-08-02T01:41:00.000-04:00

I had to write up a bio for Pictures & Frames today. It's fun to write about oneself in the third person.

Rick Sayre was born the same year those two cinematic masterpieces, THE WAY WE WERE and THE EXORCIST were released. You may correctly assume that he is a homosexual with a penchant for horror films. He has always loved music (First album: The Go-Go's/VACATION; Favorite musician: Bic Runga) and books (Favorites: The Time Traveler's Wife; The Secret History; Good Omens). He credits the early 90s for instilling a love of film in him after the 1-2-3 punch of FRIED GREEN TOMATOES, MY OWN PRIVATE IDAHO and the Keanu Reeves' classic, POINT BREAK, left him in awe of the visceral power of The Cinema. His tastes have changed (somewhat) since then & he includes among his favorite films MY MAN GODFREY; BRINGING UP BABY; ROPE; REAR WINDOW; CHARADE; WHAT'S UP, DOC?; EMPIRE OF THE SUN; EVE'S BAYOU; ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND and of course, CLUE. His cinematic heroes include a few of the usual suspects (Hitchcock; Kurosawa; Tarantino; Woody Allen; David Fincher), but he also loves the ladies (Kasi Lemmons; Lisa Cholodenko; Rebecca Miller; Allison Anders). He has a special place in his heart for the films of Carole Lombard, Julianne Moore and Christian Bale. He has a VERY special place in his heart for the films of Keanu Reeves. He has a special place in his garbage disposal for the films of Brett Ratner, Michael Bay & Jennifer Lopez. Rick spends his days selling books to the masses (Favorite titles: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Being a Model and Snakes on a Plane: The Novelization), but secretly believes himself to be a writer. He has been an accessory to crimes committed by Mr. The Fink Productions, acting in the short films "Mystery Showcase" and "The Poker Game" (which is available on video through the Fink website). Rick is a proud member of the Itinerant Saturday Night Brooklyn Gang and, as such, has been traumatized by the likes of CATWOMAN; NATIONAL TREASURE; HIDE & SEEK; and BASIC INSTINCT 2. And he still liked them all much, much more than CRASH.

With 1/2 of the flatmates out of town, I came home, got a pizza and have been watching CHARLIE'S ANGELS in front of the a/c and messing with my Myspace profile. I spent most of the week thinking that I had tomorrow off, only to discover that it was an oversight and that in fact, I won't be spending the day... um... eating leftover pizza and watching more CHARLIE'S ANGELS in front of the a/c. Blimey.
-rick

title quote: Paul Bryan, "Star Stuff" from HANDCUFF KING
music du jour: Paul Bryan: HANDCUFF KING; Holly Palmer: SONGS FOR TUESDAY
dvd player: CHARLIE'S ANGELS: SEASON THREE
bookbag: HOUDINI!!! by Kenneth Silverman (although I may hold off so that I can re-read the Philip Pullman HIS DARK MATERIALS novels)
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.

2006-07-31T02:16:00.000-04:00

Finally got around to reading my last Jane Austen novel, NORTHANGER ABBEY. I had forgotten what a pleasure it is to read my dear Jane.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I've been watching the third season of CHARLIE'S ANGELS on dvd. Crazy fun. It's a guilty pleasure that completely reminds me of my childhood. Between Austen & Cheryl Ladd and last weeks all Hitchcock/all the time dvdfest I find myself more and more convinced that I ought to have been born in another time. *sigh*

-rick
title quote: Jane Austen, NORTHANGER ABBEY
music du jour: Paul Bryan* Badly Drawn Boy* Keane
dvd player: CHARLIE'S ANGELS: SEASON THREE
bookbag: NORTHANGER ABBEY by Jane Austen
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

If you put our heads together, it would make a hollow sound.

2006-07-28T18:59:00.000-04:00

Yet another crappy week, so depressed, hating life.

Today I woke up & took myself uptown (well, uptown for me...) to see SCOOP at the 11 AM show. Fucking fantastic, it cheered me up greatly. I don't remember the last time I went to a movie and laughed for almost 90 minutes straight. I wrote a review, but it's for Pictures & Frames, so you'll have to wait until it's up there next week to read it.

*sigh* Thanks, Woody. I needed that...

is it any wonder that i'm tired?

2006-07-26T00:32:00.000-04:00

or Postcards from Brooklyn. Yeah, this is how we roll in Kensington:

Our weapons of choice.

Monkeys do it on our fridge!

We miss each other when we're gone.

title quote: Keane, "Is it any wonder?" from UNDER THE IRON SEA
music du jour: Kylie (oh who's a stereotypical fag NOW?) and Dave's mixes
dvd player: TORN CURTAIN
bookbag: JOIN ME
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

courage couldn't come at a worse time.

2006-07-25T01:38:00.000-04:00

or A Very Sarah Polley Day.

I've been feeling very Sarah Polley lately. I have the recurring desire to watch DAWN OF THE DEAD again. I keep thinking I want to watch THE SWEET HEREAFTER. They're fleeting thoughts, though.

Today, walking down 18th street to work, Sarah's version of "Courage" by the Tragically Hip (from THE SWEET HEREAFTER soundtrack) played on my ipod. I listened to it three times, it really hit me... this is happening lately, songs that meant one thing before mean something different now- like "Watershed" by the Indigo Girls- my new theme song. So I start thinking a few things:
A: Must watch SWEET HEREAFTER again.
B: I Love Sarah Polley.
C: Hey, I never got that Tragically Hip song.
D: I like the other song she does, "One More Colour" by Jane Siberry.
E: Hey, I never got that Jane Siberry collection.

I go to work, blah blah blah. I look up the best of comps for Tragically Hip & Jane Siberry. I'm more interested in Siberry, because I've loved a few songs by her. The Tragically Hip are one of those bands I'm vaguely aware of, but curious about. Their 2 disc best of is like 18 bucks. Jane's? 32 bucks. I vow to visit itunes.

I go to my break. Now, originally I planned on having a sandwich tonight and going for pizza tomorrow afternoon. However, my manager gave me tomorrow off, so I go for pizza today (I needed to break a 20 so I can do laundry). Post-pizza, I was drawn, as I often am, to ACADEMY RECORDS. They have lots of awesome dvds at really good prices. I'm browsing and what do I see? DON'T COME KNOCKING! It's not even out yet, officially. AND it's only 18 bucks. And yes... it has Sarah Polley.

Hit itunes and got "Courage" and Jane Siberry's "Love is Everything" -"One More Colour" is not available there motherfuckers. Let's hear it for Canada, eh?

title quote: "Courage" -The Tragically Hip, from YER FAVORITES
music du jour: I heard a lot of Olivia Newton-John today.
dvd player: PSYCHO from ALFRED HITCHCOCK: THE MASTERPIECE COLLECTION
bookbag: JOIN ME by Danny Wallace
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food; frequently there must be a beverage.

2006-07-24T12:23:00.000-04:00

Haven't posted in a while. Tired and depressed.

*Saw PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 2. Thought it was fun, in general. Kinda long. Always painful to watch Orlando Bloom try to act, but felt that Keira Knightley is back in her terrain and felt positive about her again. Will never understand the Oscar nomination for PRIDE & PREJUDICE '05. Loved the villains with barnacle growing on them.

*Wondering what it is with me and new films. The last three films I've seen in theatres- X-MEN 3; SUPERMAN RETURNS; PIRATES... have been disappointing. Is it just that... they're summer movies & supposed to be brain candy & I'm always hoping for something more? X-MEN & PIRATES are sequels to movies I love that let me down. Have my tastes changed? I really feel like if I saw them again, I'd enjoy them more. PIRATES was actually good, just so very long. And as far as stuff coming out, the only thing I'm dying to see- and will take myself to see on Friday when it opens- is SCOOP.

*Is it my fault that LITTLE MAN did better at the box office than CLERKS 2? If so, point your fingers at my flatmates as well, Kevin Smith. I'm usually so psyched about Smith's movies. (except for JERSEY GIRL obviously, what with the whole JLO thing) I actually found myself unsubbing from his MySpace blog because I got so sick of him shilling the movie 24/7. Did that make me less enthusiastic? Because i remember a time when I saw the trailer and peed my pants, I was so excited. Hmmmph.

*Speaking of peeing, when you hit 32? Your bladder shrinks to the size of a pea. I don't know if I'm drinking more than normal, but fuck- I think I had to get up to use the bathroom 4 times last night. This is the recurring theme of my week.

*It's official, I'm the most homophobic person I know. I've started referring to myself as an ex-gay. I feel totally apart from the gay community and have found that in fact, I don't like 90% of the gay men that I encounter, either in person or in the depths of reality television. Actually, I kind of want to hit 90% of the gay men that I encounter in person or in the depths of reality television. I suppose I thought that in New York City there would be the opportunity to meet gay men who were not cookie cutter Queer as Folk coiffed moisturized gym toned clones. Sadly, this is not the case. I feel like every stereotype you see is actually true for the majority of gay men. It's depressing. I've met so many unique people in this city, but it seems that if you're queer you still have to fit into some little box. "They're all made out of ticky tacky & they all look just the same..."

*On a related note, pt. 1: Fuck Madonna. Seriously, I have all of her albums. She's good, she's been cutting edge, a visionary- in pop music. But she's getting desperate. The whole being crucified on a Vegas cross thing smells of a pathetic desire for attention. Last night, I was reading about the upcoming film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's SUNSET BOULEVARD and how it will star Glenn Close. Of course there were people who thought Madonna should play the role. When someone pointed out that her acting skills are far less than, every queen online had a hissy fit. It's the blind adoration that bothers me.

*MYSPACE I FUCKING HATE YOU!! You make some things so great- the constant keeping in touch with friends and musicians. In fact, the fact that it's the best source for info on my favorite singers is probably the one thing keeping me from quitting Myspace- again. I'm tempted to unfriend so many people that are frighteningly addicted to it, posting bulletins every fucking day, clearly begging for comments, picture comments, blog comments, oh my GOD! I used to think I was one of those unfortunate addicts, but no... Two days without MySpace and some people are close to suicide. It's fucking scary. Should I just post a bulletin saying "I'm sorry, I'm only going to use MySpace for music stuff from now on- don't take it personal and go crazy, but I'm unfriending everyone?"

must go eat now.
-rick
title quote: Woody Allen from the book "Side Effects"
music du jour: it feels like a Patty Griffin kind of day.
dvd player: PSYCHO, part of my Hitchcock Masterpiece Collection viewing.
bookbag: JOIN ME by Daniel Wallace
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

i'm like the rain without the spain, i'm like the mark without the twain

2006-07-15T23:40:00.000-04:00

and of course here i am 9 hours later and i keep thinking i wish i could stay and why don't i go to FL for the holidays but stay the rest of the year after all. and then immediately i think, no can't do that. fuck. and then i think, you know it's easier to move back home, but if i go home it's pretty much impossible to get back here. fuck

this is what it's like, pretty much, every day.

say after me: i'll go my own way baby

2006-07-15T12:40:00.000-04:00

Surprise party for J's birthday went well. X made pizzas, we played some games, watched a little Poltergeist & a little Jaws- and a little White Noise. Clearly we have developed a case of mass A.D.D. Good Coldstone cake with peanut butter cups. Of course part of my gift to her still hasn't arrived (nor has WEEDS dammit) but that's okay, I drew a picture for her.

X's friend who was supposed to move in after I left will be here again this weekend. I feel like the right thing to do is to find out when she needs to be here and plan my move accordingly. A few extra months seriously doesn't matter that much. And I am leaving. And it would be nice if she could room with people she knew- in a safe neighborhood- for a really cheap price. But whenever I bring up leaving, people either don't want to hear about it or try to talk me out of it. I have to be with my family. I have to have more financial breathing room to pay off my debts, not just the bare minimum every month. Seriously, I ought to have left when I originally said I was going to, this extension is just making it more difficult on me and everyone else...

I am a fucking idiot.

how scandinavian of me

2006-07-13T02:30:00.000-04:00

so the latest issue of Pictures & Frames is now up at www.picturesandframesmagazine.com.

This month in...
MOVIES: So we got lazy & threw down one sentence reviews for everything from SUPERMAN RETURNS to A SCANNER DARKLY (whoa!) to THE KING.

DVDS: BILOXI BLUES gets it's due. Back by popular demand, the itinerant Saturday Night Brooklyn gang talks their way through the Robert De Niro/Dakota Fanning romantic comedy, HIDE AND SEEK. If you make it through that epic, you can read about Lisa Cholodenko's adaptation of Dorothy Allison's great novel, CAVEDWELLER.

BOOKS: Only one of us can read, and the result is a love letter to Jane Fonda & her autobiography, MY LIFE SO FAR.

MUSIC: Teddy Geiger, Paul Bryan, ELIZABETHTOWN and The BOSS all get some love. Not to ruin the surprise, but this months music reviews are all ipod-lickin' good.

SPOTLIGHT: Resident Spotlighter shines his beam on director John Sayles

all this plus a lovely Mary-Louise Parker photo and Jimmy Stewart in the Film of the Month can be yours... FOR FREE because that's the way we roll at Pictures & Frames.

until we go legit and can charge. ...then will I get paid?
Thanks for listening

title quote: Björk
music du jour: Paul Bryan- Beth Thornley
dvd player: MORLANG
bookbag: Franny & Zooey by JD Salinger
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

am i wrong? have i run too far to get home? have i gone & left you there alone? if i would could you?

2006-07-08T11:30:00.000-04:00

i woke up earlyish today and thought, "awesome! i can sleep some more!" but then i couldn't get back to sleep because i couldn't remember the name of the other guy in Alice in Chains- not Layne Staley, I remembered there was a C to his name. i had to look him up online. I'm going to get out of bed now.
...Jerry Cantrell. duh.

title quote: Alice in Chains, "Would?" from DIRT
music du jour: Paul Bryan, HANDCUFF KING
dvd player: The Work of Director Mark Romanek
bookbag: Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides
celebrity sightings: 0
YTD Sightings-17

good things come to those who...

2006-07-07T13:47:00.000-04:00

waiting in line at Foodtown, i of course pick the checkout aisle with an older lady buying three times as much as me, who then has to have it delivered home. it takes a while, in fact i stand in line longer than it took me to do my shopping. but at one point she waves her hand at me (i'm listening to Aimee on my ipod) and asks if i want a piece of candy. it was a butterscotch, the kind my Grandpa used to give to waitresses & anybody he talked to while we were out. i smiled and thanked her. she said she was sorry for making me wait & i told her i was in no rush. the candy was good.